YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF.
I will try to put this is a quick gospel setting. The one thing that our Father in Heaven assures us as a gift here upon this earth, besides our body, is our agency. If He doesn't try to "change" us, how can we possibly think that any amount of whining, manipulating, planning, yelling, coercing, etc. can hope to change our spouse, sibling, child, neighbor or coworker. He has never commanded us to make others perfect. The commandment is "to be ye, therefore, perfect." Change ourselves.
How do we react to others? Do we use this gift of free will in our reactions to others? Or do we just abandon our freedom and become victims of our circumstances. Very sad. I do it all the time.
The books give great ideas on how to use our own free will to change our reactions to others. There is nothing in any of the books on how to change others. It is our own reactions that matter and ultimately change our lives and how we perceive those around us.
If there was anyone who should have and could have sought revenge, it was Christ. But look at how He handled things. For those who spit upon Him, laughed at Him, mocked Him and ultimately killed Him. He willingly gave His life, because He chose to. He chose to LOVE.
We think, yeah, but it is not fair. My husband yelled at me. My co-worker went behind my back. My kids are disrespectful. Etc, etc. All true. It is not fair. Was Christ's crucifixion fair? The one who loved us all enough to go through what He went through? Was it fair?
Is it fair, then for us to reject the gift of agency, after what He chose to do for us. Thank goodness, for His atonement and my ability to repent and change. I love my Savior and His sacrifice. I am trying hard to remember that I have a chose in how I react because of my brother, Jesus Christ! I am so glad I am finally learning that lesson.
