Lessons from my Dad

My Dad. 

I thought it was so appropriate that the Honor Guard had to redo the flag and do it with such dignity.  Dad always told us that if the job was worth doing, it was worth doing well.  We were taught to do it over again, sometimes all the way from the beginning if it did not meet his expectations.  In today’s society average is so acceptable. 

I remember a time when I had raked the yard and had left some grass spread about.  I must have said something sarcastic and rude (me? Never!).  For the next thing I remember was that dad had emptied all of the lawn I had gathered all over the lawn and informed me that I needed to do it again and I better do it right this time. 

I know I did not appreciate the learning of this lesson very often, but it is something I have been most grateful to have learned as a child then to have had to learn it in college or as an independent adult.  My life has been much easier and better because of the mastering of this lesson. 

This next lesson may seem almost like the same lesson as above, but there is a difference.  If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.  Keep trying, not blindly, but evaluate what is going right and what is not.  Continue with the successful and adjust the unsuccessful.  He taught us to never give up in anything that we felt was important.  School, grades, music, water skiing, anything we attempted.   I remember attempting to do a full spin on the parallel bars in Jr. High.  We were to spin on the lower bar and reach up and grab the high bar.  I did it over and over and over and over, falling every time.  But when most of my friends finally gave up, I continued and eventually I could do it.  I remember that feeling of accomplishment. 

 Another lesson…hard work can be very relaxing.  Sounds contradictory…but you know doing some mundane physically had work can give your mind the time to meditate on a lot of things.  In the book “Holes” the inmates are asked to dig holes in order to build character.  This was supposed to be a bad thing.  But I have dug holes for my Dad and it was amazing work.  Straight walls, right angles in the corners, and nice flat bottom, dug within mm of exact measurements.  I learned to pay attention to detail and to take pride in what I was doing.  I don’t even remember what the hole was for and I it was filled in shortly after I dug it.  But it was a fantastic hole! 

Take pride in your work.  Another lesson, taught in conjunction with the above lessons, but important.  A well mowed and raked lawn brings a lot of satisfaction and I don’t even need a sticker on a board.  A clean house, a neatly made bed, a straightened closet, the dishes washed and in the cupboards, children fed, washed and in their beds.  Any job I do, I like to evaluate and take a moment to enjoy the satisfaction of a well done job.  It is better than any Dr. Pepper high and is almost on the same level as a really good piece of chocolate.

I suppose the most important lesson Dad taught me, he probably doesn’t know he did so.  The atonement can change you.  When my mother married my father, he was a really rough guy.  She refined him and made him quite cultured.  He could attend a ballet, or an opera but he really enjoyed musicals.  He read all kinds of books from Louie Lamoure to history, gospel, science, everything.  I never heard my mother criticize or laugh at my father’s unrefined ways or language.  But her quite example and her love inspired him to improve himself.  As far as his religion and his spiritual life was concerned, I watched that change first hand also.  He was an abused young man and he knew no other way to discipline his kids.  I remember him picking fights with some of his workers.  I don’t remember actually fist to cuffs occurring, but I remember him posturing that he would be willing to knock some jack *** on his bottom if he didn’t get busy or if he wanted to smart off to the boss like that one more time.  I remember Dad yelling at other drivers and people he thought had slighted him in some way.  But after his baptism, all these things began to change.  It started in our home.  It was not over night, but slowly his discipline changed from physical to reasoning and exhorting.  At work, his demeanor also changed.  As he came to understand the atonement, its power began to work within him.  I am sorry that my siblings have not been able to see that change in their father’s life for what it was.  If Christ can forgive my father, so can I. 

Dad loved the gospel and he loved to discuss it and debate it during dinner.  My siblings did not have the benefit of the family I had.  By the time I was in Jr. High and the others were out of the house, we were having family scripture study every morning.  I was not real enthusiastic, but I went.  Family Home Evening was held in a rather relaxed manner, but we had it.  Family morning prayer came with the scripture study, but our nightly family prayer was not done. 

Temple attendance is important and Dad was going once a week when I left on my mission and came home.  We went every week on Wednesday after I got home and we had gone 3 times before the guy at the recommend desk noticed that Dad’s recommend had expired over 3 months before.  He had been coming every week for 3 months with an expired recommend but he had to wait for me that morning outside the temple.  He thought that was dumb. 

Family is important.  Dad took us waterskiing every Thursday.  There was no question of if we wanted to go.  We just knew it was the time for water skiing and we got everything ready and went.  We loved it.  Until the older kids were high school, there was always a summer vacation.  I don’t remember many.  I went almost every year, even during high school to Lake Powel.  There were trips to Disneyland until I was about 6 and the older ones were in high school.  Time spent as a family was very important to Dad. 

I love you Dad.  Thanks for the lessons.